I got very little sleep Sunday night - my brain would not shut off going over what we had sent to DI that dad might actually still use. I woke up yesterday morning still thinking about it. It made for a ho hum day. To add to it, we only got to be home for about an hour after work when we got a panicked call from Andy's mom. Mitchell was on his way to the ER by ambulance.
We packed up and headed out. When we got there he was out cold and hooked up to everything and still being worked on. Apparently he had had three seizures, was unconscious and had been for a while and had stopped breathing for a bit, they had to use the bag on him to help him breath. Mama Lew was beside herself but I think if it were my kid I would have been a lot worse. She's a strong woman. I lost it a little seeing him all hooked up to stuff and watching his monitors. He was really red and his arms were all purple splotchy. He finally started coming around a little while after we got there and they moved him to the PICU. His blood pressure stayed low and they couldn't give him any water. That's all he could think about, his mouth was so dry. That would be miserable. His heart rate finally dropped down and he was pretty stable other than his pressure being low when we left. They think it was caused from an infection, his white blood cell count had made a huge jump just from that morning. They'll know more later.
Now tho, I am wracked with guilt and it has made for a blah day today and the day lasted forever. Last year my sister's medical problems came to a head and it was killing her. She was in and out of the ER and the hospital for almost six weeks and I never made it out to visit and be there for her and I have felt guilty ever since. As I was watching them work on Mitch, that's all I could think about. I have been feeling like one of the worst daughters ever and today I feel like the worst sister ever. I was not there for her and I should have been. I am so thankful that she has been able to turn around and treat her condition and that she is healthy and strong today. I am so sorry Stacie. I love you dearly.
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2 comments:
Stef, stop feeling guilty about it k. I am healthy and strong today and that is what matters. You have enough crap going on without that guilt adding to it! I love you and forgive you for all that last year okay.
You have just had too much emotional trauma going on lately and you need to find an outlet for it. You need to go on some serious WOW fights or something like that and work off some energy and emotion. I walked faster and harder on the treadmill yesterday than I ever have and I felt SO much better for it afterward since it burned off some of my pent up garbage. Maybe we need to have a dance dance off or another WII boxing war lol. Find things to smile about and take time to pamper yourself a bit. LOVE YOU!
I am sorry things have been so rough lately. I hope things get better.
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