Stupid Cow

We went to the Red Ginger Bistro for dinner to catch their happy hour for sushi (half off all rolls and dollar nigiri).  We'd never been before but they had a good deal for happy hour.  As soon as we walked in, this lady in one of the front tables kept looking at me.  She kept it up all through dinner and then she started giggling and then she kept leaning over and whispering to her companion who then also looked at me and giggled.  I am a grown woman and am past such nonsense (unless of course I am in a stupidly childish mood) and did my best to ignore her and enjoy dinner.  Andy had his back to them and so didn't know it was going on, otherwise I'm sure he would have said something.  Dinner was very tasty and I believe we will be going back there.  I love the tuna nigiri and had three of them.  Raw tuna tastes like a soft, meaty, exotic fruit to me and I love it!  I also had their Tokyo roll which is salmon, white tuna, and yellow tail and is very tasty.  Andy had four different nigiri, a hellfire roll and a dragon roll.  I had a bit of each of his rolls and they were good too, if a bit spicy for me, the hellfire more than the dragon.  I didn't realize just how much that other table had been bugging me until they got up and left.  I then told Andy what was going on and asked if I had something on my face or if my hair had stood on end or something.  He of course said I didn't and said she didn't have much going for her and to not worry about it.  He later called her a stupid cow!  LOL  I love my husband.  But really, some people can just be so childish.  I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but today my resolve isn't very good I guess.  Good thing I have plenty of people who love me to help me feel better about myself.

Weekend

We started off the weekend nicely by leaving work Friday and heading straight for Andy's mom's house.  She had invited us over for dinner and it sounded delicious.  Andy's cousin's, Dusty and Rowen, were in town as well.  I called Denise and she was wonderful enough to go let Lily out for us (thank you so much) even though it was their anniversary.  Dinner was wonderful as promised and we visited well into the night.  Had some very interesting and very funny conversations that all were started by Lew I'd just like to say.  LOL  That was only the second or third time I had met Dusty and Rowen.  Dusty is on leave from Afghanistan and will be going back shortly.  I really like them, they're funny.  Their kids are really loud tho and I don't think they know what it means to use their inside voices, but they are super cute.  Lew, Rowen and I took off to an Antique store before dinner, but got there a little too late and they closed in only about 20 minutes so we didn't get to look around a whole lot.  But I did spy two trunks that I wanted a closer look at.

The next morning I was up and ready to go treasure hunting again, so I drug Andy out once again.  We stopped and had breakfast together and then went by Lew's place again.  She was busy tho and Dusty and Rowen were getting ready to leave and go back to Arizona, so we went on our way.  We stopped back in to the shop we had visited the night before, but the trunks weren't worth having.  It was a little late to go look at some of the yard/estate sales I had written down so we skipped those and we went to Sandy to look at the Sandy Antique Mall.

I got really excited when we got there as they had several trunks just sitting out front.  The ones out front turned out to be a bit more worn and a bit more pricey than I wanted to spend tho.  They had several more inside.  One of them was so smelly that when we opened it, it sent me into a coughing fit and a lady two rooms away started commenting about it.  It was horrid.  Anyway, we got back into the last room and there it was.  The biggest trunk we'd seen yet, and flat topped instead of domed, but it was in the best shape we'd seen yet and it had it's tray and the tray wasn't falling apart.  It was about double what I really wanted to pay for one, the same as the ones out front, but they have layaway!  We go pick it up in a week or so.  Yay!  I'll post pics once I get it.  I was looking for one a bit smaller, I think I can fit in this thing and still shut the lid.  It will be wonderful for our blankets and linens once I get it cleaned up.  i'm so excited about it!

Since we were so close to my sister's, we decided to stop in and say hi before going for a late lunch.  I'm glad we did because we found out my parents were coming up and we were going to head down there later, now we didn't need to and we wouldn't have drove down there for nothing.  We found out they were all going over to Wheeler Farm for a photo shoot and then going to dinner.  We decided to eat sandwiches Stacie offered, take a nap and meet them for dinner after.  We had a really nice nap and woke up earlier than we needed to.  We met then at the farm, wondered around for a bit and then we all went to dinner.  It was really nice to spend some time with everyone.  Wish we could have visited a bit longer tho.  I did find out tho, that I like cottage cheese!  This makes me happy as it has always looked good to me but I never liked it as a kid so never tried it as an adult, but then I got brave since we were at a buffet and what could it hurt?  Yay, now I have a healthy snack/meal to eat, fruit and cottage cheese!

Yesterday was a lazy day.  I remembered that we were going to go back to my mother-in-law's the day before but got caught up in all the other stuff going on. I tried to call her but she didn't answer.  I felt so bad.  I did laundry, had a really long nap and watched some TV.  I did the budget and then regretted spending all the money we did, but that's how it goes I guess. 

Treasures

So I have been on the hunt for a project to do, I'm itching to create something, and preferably something that Andy and I can do together.  I really want to make a bed and a couple of nightstands, but funds are too tight right now so that project will have to wait.  I am obsessed with antiques, I've always appreciated the work and craftsmanship that went into most of them and the awareness that that kind of work just does not exist on a commercial scale in our current world, and so I have taken to browsing through the antique section of ksl.com.  I have found a new obsession.  I want an old wooden chest.  I found one on the cheap side and needing a lot of TLC, but what a great project!  Restoring on old wooden storage/travel chest!  I called the guy and found it was still available, so I dragged my poor husband out to this guy's house with me to take a look.

This is the chest we went and looked at

It was really sad.  It made me mad.  I knew it was in bad shape, but wow, it was in a lot worse shape than the pictures showed.  This once beautiful piece has spent far too much of it's life outside (who would leave something like this outside?!).  Every bit of hardware and all the metal on it were rusted through, too far gone to even bother trying to polish it and work through the rust.  The wood was thin and rotted.  I placed my hand, without all that much pressure, on top of the trunk and it sunk and crunched (you can't tell from the picture very well, but the entire dome is covered in a thin sheet of metal).  You could see the beauty that was once there, but it was far too gone to even attempt a restoration.  At least for someone inexperienced in it like me.

If anyone that reads this knows anyone that has one of these (or even a flat top one, as long as it's wood) that might be willing to part with it, let me know.  I don't really care what shape it's in as long as it isn't rotted and rusted through like this one.

I would so have loved to polish this one up and have it in the living room to put all our blankets in. It was far bigger than I thought, probably 30-36" long, 20-24" deep and tall.  It would have been perfect.

Pictures

Today I worked from home again.  Glad I did, it was a bad day and would have been worse if I had been in the office I think.  Although if I had been in the office a specific situation may have been resolved better and easier.  Oh well, what do you do?  At least my fibro has eased up enough for me to actually move around a bit.

Anyway on one of my breaks I decided to take some pictures.  The one added at the top of this blog is our actual front door, faded, peeling paint and all.  The sign next to it was hand made, specifically for us, by a really good friend of mine.  It's wonderful and beautiful, both in its design and the thoughts behind it.  Thank you Gladys.

I also got a really great pic of our dog, Lily. She is such a cute, funny little dog.  When Andy got home tonight she went nuts.  You would've thought he'd been gone a week instead of just the day.  Andy loved it.  Getting greeted by somebody that loves you unconditionally is just awesome.  I had no idea how to match her enthusiasm, but I was very happy to see him too.

 I also got some pics of our cat, Baggs, doing, well, doing what cats do best I guess.  Laying on some magazines sound asleep. With one a eye open of course, can't ever be too careful.

 I also went outside for some fresh air for a few minutes and got a pic of one of two of my sunflowers that made it this year.  They are small and not very healthy, but I was a bad gardener this year and did not care for them very well.  Course it didn't help that our back hose was out of commission for a while.

Meh

This week over all has just sucked balls.  Monday was a very rough awful day at work, Tuesday was okay, Wednesday started out okay and then went down hill fast.  We had a team meeting in the morning where my boss introduced a "team building" activity which in my opinion is about as far away from team building as you can go.  It's just more work and I don't have time for it and I believe it's an attempt to hide something else entirely, and it has me worried.  Then the vet called.  Time to go get Chewy's remains.  I like the disk they did with his paw print. I had also been having bad dizzy spells all day.  Tuesday I woke up with a nasty headache and worked from home and was still having vertigo.  Andy made me make a doctor's appointment and I have a viral ear infection.  Yay me, the doc gave me no drugs to help other than motion sickness pills.  I get to live with the pain and dizziness.  Oh joy.  Today I woke up no better off, head and ears still pounding and the world still spinning and called in sick.  Slept most of the day.  I did manage to get the pork roast we bought in the crock pot but that was it and I only did that because it had been in the fridge for a few days and I didn't want it to go bad.  It's Beth's birthday today and I am not able to go to her party, and then found out that Lorie isn't either.  Charlotte isn't because she has been in the hospital. I feel bad that probably only April and Denise will be there for her.  My sister reminded me that a hot towel compress works great on ear infections.  Too bad I didn't talk to her a day or two ago, I might have been able to work today.  I wet a dish towel and zapped it in the microwave and put it across the back of my neck and pressed it behind my ears.  Did this twice and now I'm draining like crazy.  Andy also made a spicy sauce to go over the pork roast.  He pulled it all apart and mixed in the sauce.  This cleared my sinuses.  Now I feel a bit better.  Maybe we'll be able to still go to the state fair tomorrow with Jason and Elizabeth.  I sure hope so.  I don't want my entire weekend ruined by this.  I hate ear infections.  Next week has got to be better.

There are no words...

Projects

This morning I was on the radio!  B98.7  They had an animal behavior specialist on and I asked a question about it on their face book page and Todd called me this morning and put me on air.  I asked the Lady how to help a dog thru the loss of another dog.  She said to get her into a new training routine, change up her routine, and introduce new toys and games.  I think I need to start taking Lily for walks again as I have been too lazy to do so and I think I'll take her to petsmart and get her a new toy or two.

Now on to other matters.  Gladys introduced me to this wonderful blog, and I so want to do a wood project now.  I really wish I had some good tools and machines and a place to put them, but alas if we ever get around to doing what I want to do we'll have to go to my dad's to do most of it.  He would probably enjoy the company and the work tho.  Although if I just had a table saw or band saw and a drill press, I could do with what I have and be happy.

Anyway, I am sick of just having a mattress on a hollywood frame and nothing else.  Andy has been wanting to find a project for us to do together as well and I found the perfect thing that solves both problems.  The blog is www.ana-white.com  and I so want to make her farmbed!  I think it's the most wonderful looking bed ever!  I love it!  I think it is beautiful and functional and very adaptable and cheaper and better made than any basic bed frame you can just go pick up anywhere and we can make it to our specific needs and make it together.  We also have a pallet sitting in the backyard from the prior owners and I so want to drag it out and do this with it.  I also really really want make this but maybe without the hutch part.

This lady has plans for everything you could think of and easy instructions anyone could follow.  It's awesome.

Bored

Not much is happening in our lives right now and for the most part I've been bored. We had a lot of fun Saturday evening with my cousin and her family and my sister and her family.  We chatted and caught up and played games and had pizza.  It was great.  But it didn't last long enough. 

What I'm needing I guess is to get the basement back in order and we need to have a proper, tons of people, all night game night.  That would be a blast.  I also need to empty the living room upstairs and actually use our new carpet cleaner.  Who buys a new carpet cleaner, is super excited for it to get here and then doesn't use it, even a month or so later?  Me I guess.  I need to get my act together, especially knowing it won't get smelly again.  I think it's that we are always busy on the weekends and that's when I want to do the carpet.  The one weekend we've really had free I was too depressed to do much of anything.  I need to just do it, weekend or not.

And Lily has been acting weird.  If you throw a toy, she's excited about it for a bit and then takes it and puts it in her kennel or totally loses interest.  We've also noticed that she wants to be outside more and then she just stands there on the deck looking around.  She isn't even barking much at people going by.  We can't decide if she's depressed or not.  We also can't decide if she keeps wanting to go out because the backyard is the last place she herself saw Chewy or she just wants to be out there for once.  We also can't decide if the lack of barking is depression or her no longer feeling the need to protect because Chewy is no longer out there with her and we don't usually go out with her.  I guess I need to go sit out on the deck and see if she barks more to test out that theory.  I think she's down a bit but so am I so I might be projecting.

I'm actually starting to dread getting his ashes back.  I'm trying to let go and move on and I just keep thinking that it's going to bring the pain straight back when the vet calls me to come pick them up.

Being Good is Hard

So Andy and I have been really tight on our funds, I meant flat broke tight, but have made it thru the last two weeks eating at home, remembering our lunch and for the most part, grabbing breakfast.  We cheated here and there on breakfast, but only because we can get a so-so one at work for only a dollar or two each.  Well, we got paid yesterday and it was the check with Andy's raise on it and supposedly a bit of retro pay.  I don't think they put any retro on it at all and his raise isn't as much as I had in my head and all it did was get us out of the deep end.  It's wonderful he got a raise.  I love that he got a raise.  It just doesn't help as much as either of us thought it would.  Too many expenses have gone up and come our way.  We still can't afford to get our brakes done without help (I was really hoping to)  and we still have to be good with our spending.  It's hard being good and it's frustrating watching pennies, but at least we can eat out once or maybe twice a week and catch at least one movie here and there again and at least all the bills are going to continue getting paid.  I really like our house, but I really, really wish we hadn't bought it.  We were quite comfortable until we did and then it got even worse when the housing marking tanked and our taxes and home owners all went up.

I put in to win state fair tix.  I really hope I get them.   We want to go and we are planning to go next weekend, but if I win I won't feel so guilty about it (even though I shouldn't anyway).  We plan to go every year and every year, something comes up or we don't have any money.

It's been one week now without my little friend and I miss him.  I didn't realize how many little noises he made all the time until he was gone.  I also didn't realize just how incredibly quiet Lily is when she doesn't have anything to bark at.  The house has been too quiet and it's weird.  Even when we get Lily riled up she doesn't get too noisy.  Only if she sees something outside or someone comes to the door is she loud, and the cat meows here and there but is silent otherwise as well.  But it has also been nice to only have one dog to worry about and not have to fuss over Chewy so many times a day.  I love him and miss him, but he had become a lot of work the last year or so.  Everyone keeps asking if we are going to get another dog.  First answer is, "no".  It's too soon.  We are still adjusting and grieving.  I don't understand people, even animal lovers, that can go out and get a new dog or puppy right after they lose one.  A co-worker of mine said she had to go get a new puppy the very next day.  No way, no how.  Not even if he had been our only dog.  To be completely honest, I don't know that we'll ever get another one until Lily is gone.  Lily is a great little dog and it's really nice to only have her to worry about.  That may change once this is no longer so raw, but for now, "Nope."

Little Steps

We weren't sure just what we were going to do today, but Friday kind of changed the whole weekend for us.  We decided to go to my mom's for the holiday bbq after all, which I always love, but Andy is funny sometimes when it comes to family.  His side works a lot different than mine, but I have found most families do.  It's not that his family doesn't love each other, cause they do, they just don't get together as often as mine and sometimes I think it overwhelms him.  He loves my side of the family tho, so it confuses me sometimes when he doesn't want to go.  I don't fault him for it and we compromise a lot on get togethers.  I have done well today and did well at the bbq.  It was really good to see everyone that was there and get a hug from mom, I really needed that.

As the weekend has gone on, I have done little things here and there to say goodbye in my own way and help myself move on.  I hung his collar on my bedside lamp for now so I can see it.  I put the rug and the scale back in the bathroom.  Andy put his dishes away.  We do a little each day.  Tonight I was being bothered by his kennel.  It was too difficult to have it there, but I didn't want to put it away.  I keep looking at it expecting him to be there and it is just too hard.  I had to put it away.  It was the hardest thing yet to do since Friday.  I cried. Andy had to help me.  I miss him.  I want him back.  I know it's for the best, but how do you let go of such a wonderful soul that has been in your life for more than half of it?  Now I've gotten myself crying again.

I think it has finally hit Lily that he isn't coming back.  She has been acting weirded out since we put the kennel away.  She has gone over to sniff the spot twice now and has gone into the bathroom once.  She's acting mopy now too.  She's acting the same as when her last puppy was sold. 

Andy and I were talking about him tonight after I settled down a bit and he had a deje vu moment.  For some reason that actually helped me a little.  I have been told my entire life that deje vu means you are where you are supposed to be.  Whatever you believe, I believe this.  So, as much as I don't like it, things are as they should be.

Little Things

Day two without my little guy.  It's painful and heartbreaking, but also good.  It's getting a tiny bit easier, but all the little things get to me.  I miss him just being here.  The bathroom is empty, which has been his sleeping spot for the last several months, and it's weird.  His kennel is empty, which is where he goes if he isn't in the bathroom.  There is no click-clack across the linoleum as he searched for crumbs.  I even miss tripping on him and having him under foot.  But I realize the last several years have not been kind to him and it is also a relief that he is no longer suffering and for the first time in a couple of years, I am not worried.  Both of us have been almost constantly worrying about him for so long.

I think it will be nice to only have one dog again.  Lily has poked her head in the kennel and paused at the bathroom, but she doesn't seem to be missing him much, just more confused as to why he isn't there.  I am glad that she will not go through a depression. I miss him most in the mornings, he was happiest in the morning of late.  I find myself missing his younger self more though, it's strange.  This morning, eating breakfast, I find it odd to only have one set of eyes silently asking for a tidbit. 

His little body was done and it was time.  It will take some getting used to to not have him here, and I'm sure I will find myself crying off and on for some time, but he is in a much better place and is okay now.

We have decided that in the fall or spring we will buy a white dog wood tree and spread his ashes under it when we plant it.  I will keep his box and put his collar in it.  The vet has also pressed his paw in a ceramic disk for us and I'll probably put that on the wall.

Dan and Denise have been wonderful and have been here to keep our minds off it and reminisce.  They came over Friday night and again last night and stayed til late last night playing games and visiting until nearly four in the morning.  Love you guys.

My Best Buddy, Goodbye

When I was about 15, My sister was living down in the same town as my dad, Elsinore, UT.  I had gone down for a few weeks to spend time with my sister and my dad.  One day my sister, Shanna, wanted to go visit a friend over in the local trailer park and I decided to go with her.  They had a litter of puppies and I sat down with their kids to play with them while we were there.  This one little pup kept crawling in my lap and would not leave me alone.  He followed me everywhere in their house and just wanted to be where I was, and he was only 5 or so weeks old.  I decided he must be mine and I took him home with me without permission.  On the way home, he started whining and I felt he needed to go, but the friend that was giving me a ride home didn't want to stop.  I ended up putting him down in his box and he ended up soiling it.  This little tiny pup actually acted very embarrassed to have gone somewhere other than outside.  I was surprised by his behavior, but this was just an introduction to just what kind of dog he was to become.

I got him home and amazingly my mom and step-dad let me keep him.  he had to be outside though and I hated that.  But the little fuzz ball fit right in and our cocker spaniel, Peaches, kept him company and my cat, Nikki Bean, became his play mate.

Just a couple of months old

Nikki was about six months old when I brought Chewy home, and they became good friends.  Chewy and I both missed him when got sick and left us at just a year and a half.  I can't help but think that he would maybe still be around, if he hadn't gotten sick.

Chewy grew up to be a fine little dog.  He took direction very well and picked up on new things very quickly.  I really didn't have to do a lot of training with him, he was naturally just a really good dog.  He was funny with rollover though, it took him forever to learn how to rollover and when he finally got it, he rolled over for everything for a day or two, he was so excited about it.  "Sit Chewy", he would roll over.  "Lay down", he rolled over.  It was so funny.

Just over a year old

The first six years, he lived outside on a chain in my parents back yard.  He had to be chained because he liked to wander. He got loose a couple of times and I got phone calls from people a neighborhood or two away to come get him.  He got himself caught between the little hut I had made to keep his food bowls out of the weather and the fence behind it one day and apparently there was a nail back there.  This happened when none of us were home.  In his struggle to get back out and, I'm sure, panic, he ripped his side clean open on a nail.  I took him to the vet and they got him cleaned up and then left it open, no stitches.  I found that really odd for how bad it was, but he kept it really clean and it healed up nicely.

When he about six, I moved out and got my own apartment and decided he would never be on a chain again and that he was going to be an inside dog, but the first day I had to go to work I wasn't sure how he would do in the house all day by himself and hadn't had a chance to test him.  I lived on the ground floor of a four-plex and happened to have the only apartment with a back door.  I decided I would chain him one more time, and left him out back.

When I got home from work, he was gone, chain and all.  I panicked and called the police and started searching the neighborhood until I finally found a kid who knew where he was.  A bunch of kids had found him early in the day and taken him.  I found out that one of the kids had been mean and practically tortured him all day.  I was so upset, and the kid's parents could have cared less, they did nothing.  I never left him out alone ever again and you know what, he never once had an accident inside that was not my fault or due to sickness.  He did however have a problem with kids after that.  He would tolerate them, but didn't want them near or touching him for the longest time.  He would walk away if they got too close after that.  I felt so bad.

He always loved his toys, and just begged you to play

One of my favorite pictures of him

I was walking him about a mile every day and hiking on the weekends at this time, and we were both in pretty good shape and am I ever glad he was strong and sturdy.  My friend Tina, that lived above me, and I were sitting on the porch one day, and quick as ever, Chewy took off out of the blue.  There was a cat across the street.  He took off right across the nose of my car that was parked on the street and the van that was coming never saw him.  He got slammed and rolled.  The guy stopped, I was screaming, we ran out to the street and he wasn't breathing.  He had blood coming out of his mouth.  He was stiff as a board and then he relaxed.  I was sure he was gone and I lost it.  The guy that hit him started crying too, and then Chewy started breathing again.  Tina and I rushed him off to the only vet we could find open.  Dr Roper looked him over and pronounced him just fine!  He had a concussion, a bit tongue, which is why he had blood coming out of his mouth, and a bruised shoulder. No broken bones!  I was so relieved!  He never chased cats and always looked both ways before crossing the street after that.  In fact the first time I wanted him to cross the street with me after he started shaking.  He remembered.

When he was about seven or eight, I lost my job and had to move back home.  I was so reluctant to make him be outside again and be on a chain and was heart broken by the idea.  I decided he was not going to live that way and that I needed to go back to school.  I talked to my sister and she and Kenton took him in and he lived with them for two years.  I was so grateful for this and that he didn't have to be outside, but I sure did miss him.  The first week he was there he fine, but then I showed up and spent the weekend with him and then left him again.  He was so upset with the realization that he was going to stay there that he went and peed all over their living room furniture!  I felt so bad for both him and them.

A couple years later I met the love of my life who also loves dogs and Chewy decided he liked him from the start.  We got married and brought Chewy back home to live with us in our tiny little apartment.  Stacie and Kenton missed him, but I was sure happy to have hm back.  Andy was the first and only person that could call Chewy away from my lap without bribing him.  I felt so betrayed the first time he did it.  LOL

This was taken at my dad's about a month after our wedding

He loved looking out the door and sunning himself in front of it.

We call this position the frog dog.

 Only a few months after we got married, we decided to get another dog.  Chewy was not too thrilled with this arrangement.  She is a cutie, but insisted on tugging on his tail.

We knew he didn't like her tugging, but he never chewed her out for doing it.

As she got bigger he decided she was okay, but they never did get close or play much.  Lily always tried, but Chewy almost always walked away.

At our second apartment, when Chewy was about 10 or so, he jumped off the couch one time and yelped. Now this dog was a manly dog, and never cried out or let you know he was in pain, so this surprised me.  I looked him over but couldn't find anything wrong.  The next morning though, we knew something was really wrong.  He was arching his back way high and could barely walk.  We rushed him off tho the vet and found out he had four calcified disks in his back and he had ruptured two of them.  They pumped him full of steroids and pain killers and he slowly pulled out of it, but he was never quite the same after that.   We moved into one other apartment and then we bought our house.  We made a mistake for Chewy in buying a split entry house, he had to take the stairs to get in or out no matter what.  He soon started refusing to go down any of the inside stairs and only went down the deck stairs because he had to.  The last several years have not been kind and he had been declining.  His right eye went cloudy and he was hurting more and his thyroid problems got worse.  He got incontinent and we started gating him in the bathroom when we weren't home.  He has not been himself lately and this past week he has been sick.  When we got home from work yesterday I knew we had to take him in.  The vet did blood work and a urinalysis and came back to tell us his kidneys were failing.  I was heartbroken.  Andy and I both started crying.  He was just shy of 16 and a half years old.  We had to let him go.  That was one of the worst decisions to have to make.  We stayed with him till he was gone.

Through the years, everyone who has ever met him has loved him.  Several of his babysitters have tried to kidnap and keep him.   He never barked at anyone, hardly ever barked at all really.  He was always excited for new toys and walks and car rides and loved wading and getting wet in rivers and lakes, but hated swimming.  He loved to cuddle in my lap and have me rub his ears.  If you ignored him, and he wanted to play, he would pick up his toys and throw them at you.  You couldn't help but laugh and play with him.  He was a special little dog and will always be loved and missed.  The last 24 hours have been very difficult, but comments and phone calls from family and friends and cuddles from Lily have helped so much.  Dan and Denise came over and visited last night and that was wonderful.  I went to bed with puffy, achy, stinging eyes and a severe headache.  Today has been a little easier for both of us, but it's going to be a while before we are both okay again.

Sweet dreams little buddy and say Hi to Nikki Bean for me.  I love you, always.