Little Things

Day two without my little guy.  It's painful and heartbreaking, but also good.  It's getting a tiny bit easier, but all the little things get to me.  I miss him just being here.  The bathroom is empty, which has been his sleeping spot for the last several months, and it's weird.  His kennel is empty, which is where he goes if he isn't in the bathroom.  There is no click-clack across the linoleum as he searched for crumbs.  I even miss tripping on him and having him under foot.  But I realize the last several years have not been kind to him and it is also a relief that he is no longer suffering and for the first time in a couple of years, I am not worried.  Both of us have been almost constantly worrying about him for so long.

I think it will be nice to only have one dog again.  Lily has poked her head in the kennel and paused at the bathroom, but she doesn't seem to be missing him much, just more confused as to why he isn't there.  I am glad that she will not go through a depression. I miss him most in the mornings, he was happiest in the morning of late.  I find myself missing his younger self more though, it's strange.  This morning, eating breakfast, I find it odd to only have one set of eyes silently asking for a tidbit. 

His little body was done and it was time.  It will take some getting used to to not have him here, and I'm sure I will find myself crying off and on for some time, but he is in a much better place and is okay now.

We have decided that in the fall or spring we will buy a white dog wood tree and spread his ashes under it when we plant it.  I will keep his box and put his collar in it.  The vet has also pressed his paw in a ceramic disk for us and I'll probably put that on the wall.

Dan and Denise have been wonderful and have been here to keep our minds off it and reminisce.  They came over Friday night and again last night and stayed til late last night playing games and visiting until nearly four in the morning.  Love you guys.